I could not restrain myself from writing something on Beyoncé’s new album.
As much as one might have faked her divorce in order to feel pain so she can beautifully create such art piece, Beyoncé will always be our #QueenBee. Obviously, any one of us is able to relate to every single song on her latest album. She chose all of her sistas for the videos. Her album is very raw and pain-ridden. She even quotes, “The most disrespected women in America [I can allow myself to add in the world] is the Black woman”.
We have been taught to be careful not to destroy the ego of ‘the man’. However, nobody ever asked who is truly at the bottom of the pyramid in our North American society. Women. Black women are facing racism and sexism on a daily basis, positively or negatively, publicly and privately, to the point that we cannot differentiate if we are being respected or not.
“Tough girl is what I had to be.” she cites. We have been portrayed on television, as sidechicks, promiscuous women and extremely submissive ones.
“You better call Becky with the good hair”
#MyNaturalHair was a movement which affected many Sistas very smoothly. But we are all experiencing it differently. How does leaving any boy/man because of your hair sound to you ? Because when they see short hair, curls and afros, they are assuming that nothing might be pulled off …Well, it does sound ridiculous !
It is already a difficult process to transition from a relaxer, a chemical product we put to straighten our hair around every 2-3 months, to natural. Why ? Your features changed, your clothing style has to change, your products are changing, you are experiencing many new textures of your hair before it fully reverts to natural …I mean hopefully it will be its natural state !
What Is the Natural Hair Movement ?
Very simple! It is just ridiculous not to have any type of opportunity because of Hair. Evidently, the movement is a political icon but first and foremost, it is an identity matter and whatever works for you does not mean that it will work for someone else!
Last but not least, the use of chemicals is not healthy. I asked many non-black girls without nappy hair if they would ever go through all of this including burning their scalp every three or two months just to satisfy society. They all said NO ! and they were about 20 to 50 years old.
As Chris Rock mentioned during his monologue at the Oscars this year, we cannot always talk about racism & sexism. Yes, agreed because men get angry too but they don’t express themselves. He explained, how all men look the same and cannot allow themselves to wear a green suit for instance. Could not agree more…
BEING A FEMINIST IS DEEPER THAN YOU THINK, IT IS NOT ABOUT HATE TOWARDS ANY OTHER GENDER BUT A MATTER OF CREATING MORE ROLES AND OPPORTUNITIES FOR ALL GENDERS.
I understand the idea of being well dressed and well presented. But whom in the world said that black natural hair is not classy or portrays you as an ”easy-access woman” ! And why does this easy-access expression still exists ! We have nothing against your taste, you have all the rights to appreciate whatever you wish but don’t hate on us if we #Slay.
As far as I remember, Black natural hair used to define you as a very calm and sweet girl, not to say virgin. But why are we being approached today by men who see us as ‘exotic’ with a whole different meaning of the word in their head?
What just happened?
Please let us be healthy & comfortable in our skin!
Many of us think the following,
I KNOW I DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE. I LOVE MY VALUES AND MY PERSONALITY BUT IT JUST HURTS TO SEE THAT I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO DOES.
I AM NOT ASKING YOU ALL TO LOVE ME.
I DO NOT LOVE YOU ALL. I JUST WANT YOU TO ACCEPT ME FOR WHO I AM LIKE I DO WHEN IT COMES TO YOU. IF YOU LIKE ME, GREAT BUT IF YOU DO NOT, JUST LET ME BE.
I DO NOT NEED YOU TO LOVE WHAT I LOVE OR DO WHAT I DO OR THINK LIKE I THINK.
“I like your hair better straight” but my hair is nappy and will never be permanently straight. So you do not like MY hair. Period. That is okay with me. Like you said, it is MY hair not yours so you do not have to like it.
“Dying your hair suits you better than the white hair. It makes you look your age” but the white hair will not turn itself black or purple or blue just so I can look my age.
“You look prettier with makeup. You should wear it more often” but my face and my actual beauty are hidden by layers of products so I am not prettier with make-up. Truth is, you think the makeup looks good but it is not MY beauty you are complimenting because you do not even see it.
“Why don’t you find a boyfriend? I think you need a boyfriend. You need to stop being so picky and negative. After all, you get what you expect.”
All that to say, do not tell us whom to be. Do not believe you know what is best for us because we are the only ones who do. After all, nobody knows you better than yourself.
Nevertheless, if you want to make a suggestion because you genuinely care and you actually believe that it may be in our best interest, you have all the right to speak. However, we also have all the right to listen or not.