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Why I decided to stop taking sexist & racist comments as a personal threat [en]

Credits : @OlivierMathon

It was very difficult to, first, understand, these comments, as sexist and racist ones. We tend to get so used to it throughout our existence that we forget they should not be seen as normal either accepted by our inner soul. Please note that I am not providing any examples of these types of comments because I believe if you are reading this article, you might have an idea…

I am not acknowledging the matter of dealing with racism only between Blacks and Whites or sexism only between men. Therefore, that is why it is very hard to understand these concepts because we can easily generalize while putting everyone in the same boat. There are people around us, we would have never imagined that, one day, these comments would have been their true colors.

It is time to move on with my life and do things on my own terms. It is time to stop being categorized in certain boxes chosen by others. It is time to not let negative stereotypes define who I am. it is time to be proud of my roots, the one I have not elected but received as a gift. Finally, it is also time for me to be able to explore more than I am ”supposed” to.

Instead of thinking that everyone is the same while not being able to differ good from bad; instead of being locked down with close-minded people, I am deciding to be my own inspiration.

I am putting an end to self-fulfilling prophecy which is the fact of predicting direct or indirect causes to become true. For instance, it is important to understand that someone’s action might remind you of a past experience but it does not mean that the result will be exactly similar. I am trusting my gut while being receptive to new positive vibes.

Most of us know that 2016 has been the #BlackGirlMagic year. We have been desperate to identify ourselves to someone like us. Could not be any happier for the new generation of Black girls who now have the chance to play with dolls they can identify to. However, I am not a baby girl anymore. It is time to stop searching for this person who is like me, when I could simply look at the mirror and find myself. Our generation, Black women my age, did not have that chance to look up into many mentors with same background and ambitions. We mostly have mentors from our mothers generation who are afraid to not fit or conform into societies’ norms. Nervertheless, we have taught ourselves to be our own inspiration.

All this to say that the woman I would want to be like is the one I am today. The woman I would want to be in the future, is the one who would get enough experiences while always learning from her mistakes.

I am mainly moving on to get my inner peace; for not letting negative comments from others affect my self-esteem while knowing they are not worth my tears. Last time I check, I pay bills and taxes just like everyone. I have the right to express myself. I am the only person who can protect my body and my soul. Besides, I learn how to take decisions that are right for me. I am the captain of my boat and nobody else will ever, not even the ones I love, tell me that I cannot do something. I will walk away from things that no longer serve me or help me grow into the woman I want to be. I have feelings, dreams and goals just like any of you.

To conclude, I will not take any racist or sexist comments as a personal threat anymore because I have learned the power to decide and control my reactions. And, I decided to stop being hurt and vulnerable while having a conversation on racial and gender issues. The more these topics destroy me, the more I will be limited to their social boundaries. It is time to take action and to surround myself with people who are going to lift me up. I am not saying that it will be easy. Thus, it will be worth trying because I am tired … So tired, that I am proud to announce you have just read my last article on gender and racial issues.